Man’s porn addiction gave him ‘sex nightmares’

By Amy Reast via SWNS

A man overcame a porn addiction that would see him watch up to five hours of videos online a day - and would even give him sex "nightmares."

Joshua Simon, 25, discovered videos on porn sites when he was 12 and masturbated in secret, despite the activity being frowned upon in his Christian household.

But things spiraled for Joshua when he got his first mobile phone aged 16 - and he could access porn easily.

Despite vowing to stop because of the shame he felt, he couldn't and what followed was a five-year addiction to porn and masturbation.

At its worst, he would spend all night watching porn and masturbating three times a day.

The effects became physical - he said he lost weight and his hair began falling out.

Joshua even began having nightmares about being seduced - despite living in a culture that, he says, would frown upon sex before marriage.

Finally, at age 21, enough became enough and Joshua says he began praying more regularly, going to church and going cold turkey on any masturbation.

Now Joshua feels "free" - and wants to raise awareness of porn addictions, which men often battle in silence due to the "shame".

Joshua, a freelance content writer, from Akwa Ibom State, Nigeria, said: "The first time I masturbated it was a life-changing experience - I was so disorientated.

"I came from a Christian background and afterwards I begged God to forgive me.

"After I finished high school it became serious - any time I went to the toilet I would take my phone.

"I started losing control - masturbation had a mind of its own, it didn't want me to fight it.

"The more I wanted to stop, I couldn't - it was draining me. I started losing my hair, and my parents and siblings thought I was sick.

"When I finally had a breakthrough I put my foot down, I knew I had to stop.

"It was a daily struggle at first but it got easier.

"Now I am free of it all."

Joshua began to search for steamy content at a young age, after enjoying watching romantic soap operas where men and women would kiss.

Aged 12 he watched his first porn video and masturbated once at that age but found it so disorientating that he didn't again until he was 16 - and he got his first mobile phone.

He said: "That was when it got serious.

"I started losing control and then it would be four or five times a week - then it got up to three times a day.

"I got to the point I started losing hair off my head and losing weight - I knew I needed to stop and I told myself I'd stop when I went to college."

But Joshua went to study petroleum engineering at the University of Uyo aged 18 - and rather than stopping, the addiction only worsened.

He said: "The more I wanted to stop it, I couldn't. Masturbation had a mind of its own.

"It impacted me mentally too - the guilt made me feel shy and timid.

"I felt so bad about myself, I just wanted to hide away.

"My concentration and memory got bad and my eyes even started to feel blurred."

When he was 19, things grew so bad that he began having sex-related nightmares.

He said: "I started experiencing people attacking me and seducing me in dreams - when I woke up it would feel like there was someone on top of me."

Aged 21 Joshua had a "breakthrough" where he realized he needed to kick the addiction to get his life back.

He began praying, fasting and regularly attending church in order to re-establish his faith.

He abstained from watching porn or masturbating - despite his addiction giving him strong temptations.

The longer he held off, the more the temptation reduced, and he finally kicked his five-year habit.

In 2022 he finally confessed what he had been going through to his family.

Joshua said: "I thought they might hate me for it.

"I told them everything I had been battling, and I was crying - but they prayed for me."

Since then Joshua has been able to fully kick his addiction and has been porn-free for six months.

He has even recently got into his first relationship - which he says his addiction had prevented him from doing before.

He wants to raise awareness of the addiction - which can be debilitating and feel shameful because of the taboo around it.

Joshua said: "The temptations are still there once in a while - there will always be that on my mind - but I don't listen to it at all.

"Now I feel more self-confident, I've got back my health, and my looks now my hair has grown back.

"Sharing my story with others and raising awareness will complete my healing.

"Since I overcame my addiction I feel like I have been set free completely."