Man born with HIV says disease won’t pass onto his unborn child

By Ben Barry via SWNS

A man born HIV positive who thought he would never be able to have children is expecting his first child and won't pass the disease on.

Joseph Kibler, 35, was born HIV-positive after contracting the virus from his mom.

But she didn't realize she had it until Joseph and his twin brother, John, were born and started getting ill - with flu symptoms.

At just 16 months, John died due to complications with pneumonia.

Joseph then only found out he was HIV positive aged 10 when a doctor let it slip - not realizing he wasn't aware - as his mom wanted to protect Joseph from the stigma.

He kept his diagnosis a secret growing up - until he started dating - but said many people would "freak out" when he told them.

Joseph takes antiretroviral therapy (ART) which means his HIV is deemed "undetectable" - the levels of HIV are so low that the virus cannot be passed on.

In March 2020, he met Carey Cox, 34, an actress and writer, and the pair started a relationship.

The pair tied the knot in May 2023 and in July 2024 found out they were expecting their first child together.

Joseph, an actor and writer, from New York City, said: "I burst into tears when we got the news that we were expecting.

"For me, it felt like breaking a cycle, it gave us a chance to start fresh.

"All that stuff that I had dealt with and held onto was washing away.

"It felt like a weight was lifted and I could get into a new chapter of my life with my beautiful wife."

Joseph was just 10 years old when he found out that he was HIV positive.

His mom explained she had contracted the disease - resulting in Joseph and his twin brother being born HIV positive.

Joseph said: "My mom gave it to me and my twin brother - who died at 16 months due to complications with pneumonia.

"My mom didn't know she was HIV positive until my brother and I started getting ill."

Despite now knowing about his diagnosis, Joseph claims his mom suggested he keep it a secret due to the stigma around the disease.

He said: "It was the mid 90s, kids were being bullied and getting kicked out of school for being HIV positive.

"Kids were being barred from playing with one another.

"It was very scary - a week after finding out we were studying HIV and the death rates at school."

When he started dating Joseph said the conversation about being HIV positive was hard - as he never knew how people would react - until he met Carey.

The pair started messaging in March 2020 as they were both part of the same talent agency for disabled actors - as Joseph had cerebral palsy and Carey has Ehlers-Danlos syndrome (EDS).

They bonded over living with their disabilities and the fact they both had lost siblings - after Carey's brother died in 2006 and her sister died in 2013.

Joseph said: "Usually the conversation had been hard for me, trying to date I went through a series of different disclosures in figuring out the right way to tell someone.

"The hardest thing for me was connecting with someone, getting to know them and then disclosing that I am HIV positive and them not being OK with it.

"That process kept getting faster and faster to the point that I would tell people very early on in the relationship.

"Carey knew from the start of knowing me that I was HIV positive - before we even entered into a relationship it was known."

When they first met, Joseph was living in Los Angeles and Carey was living in New York City after being cast in The Glass Menagerie on Broadway.

The pair would travel back and forth before Joseph decided to move back to New York City where he was born and raised.

In August 2022, Joseph went to pick Carey up from the airport and asked her to marry him.

Joseph said: "I proposed when Carey got off the plane and into my car, I would always try to show up with coffee for her.

"I got an empty coffee cup and put the ring inside.

"When she got off the plane she thought it was an empty cup and then I popped the question."

The pair tied the knot in a legal ceremony in Manhattan, New York City, in May 2023 with their two moms present and then held a celebration in Savannah, Georgia, in September 2023.

Carey said: "When he popped the question, I felt silly for not realizing the ring was in the cup and then we were very happy.

"We knew it was in the stars.

"Our moms were able to fly out and join us for our legal wedding and then we had around 30 of our closest family and friends come out to Georgia."

In July 2024, Carey and Joseph found out they were expecting their first child together - who they don't know the gender of due in the spring of 2025.

The pair said it came as a shock as they didn't realize it would happen so quickly for them.

Carey said: "Going into the relationship I knew about HIV and that if Joseph was undetectable then we would be able to have a child who was HIV negative.

"When Joseph approached the topic he asked if I knew about HIV and I did.

"We spoke about wanting children and wanting a family, we thought it was going to take a long time for us."

Originally, Carey and Joseph were concerned their child might be diagnosed with EDS but consulted their doctors who said it would be OK for them to try for a child.

Joseph added: "We had consulted our doctors and I am going to them every three months to make sure I am undetectable.

"To those who have expressed concern about our decision to have children, we counter that while being pro-choice, we also believe in the value and importance of disabled life.

"Especially when risks to a child are minimal and manageable in light of tremendous medical advances, our involvement in disability pride and disability justice has reassured us of a high quality of life for our child and the ability to thrive."