Nurse marries train driver who helped stop her suicide attempt

By Izzy Hawksworth

A nurse who was going to take her own life by jumping in front of an oncoming train was saved by the driver - and then married him.

Mom-of-three Charlotte Lay, 33, was stood on the train tracks ready to end it all, but future husband Dave Lay, 47, slowed down and got off to speak to her for half an hour.

He was able to get her to the next platform safely, where she was met by the police and signposted to local mental health services.

The next day, she looked him up on Facebook to thank him for the kindness he showed in her moment of crisis at Crossflatts Station in Bradford, West Yorks.

After Dave returned Charlotte's text telling her he was available whenever she needed to speak to someone, they began exchanging messages on a daily basis.

They met for a coffee after chatting for two months and three years later they tied the knot while Charlotte was 22 weeks pregnant with their first child.

Charlotte said: "The conversation from what I can remember was just about mundane things and about both our lives, but it was enough to break the crisis.

"Life didn’t feel as heavy anymore. The next day I made it my mission to find the man who had been so kind to me.

"Through Facebook and some colleagues of his, I found him. Now he’s my husband. We got married whilst I was 22 weeks pregnant."

Charlotte was previously diagnosed with major depressive disorder, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and emotionally unstable personality disorder.

She said her suicide attempt, in 2019, was an "impulsive decision" on her way to her job as a nurse in the NHS.

Charlotte said: "On the day of my suicide attempt, I don’t know exactly what triggered it, but it was an impulsive decision.

"I had my uniform on, fully prepared for work but something just didn’t feel right.

"When I got off the train I just sat down on the platform. The conductor asked if I was okay and I said yes.

"Sensing something was off he asked again if I was sure and I said yes and the train drove away.

"While sitting there, I made the impulsive decision to jump from the platform. I walked down the tracks and sat down, waiting.

"I'm unsure who raised the alarm about my presence but when the next train came, it slowed and stopped far from me."

Dave got out of his cab and knelt down in front of Charlotte before introducing himself.

He told her they would talk things through "until she felt comfortable enough" to get onto the train.

The pair talked for half an hour, by which time Charlotte agreed to get into the cab and was taken to Skipton Station where she was left in the care of the police.

Amazingly, Northern driver Dave had never had any de-escalation training.

He says he simply "said all the things he wished he could’ve said" to other people who have committed suicide.

Charlotte, of Bradford, West Yorks., said: "I once asked him if he’d ever had any de-escalation training because he was brilliant that day.

"He told me he hadn’t. He said he’d simply said all the things he wished he could’ve said to others before me, people he never got the chance to speak to.

“I hope that by sharing my story, people will realize that although it would be ideal if we all had specialist training to deal with a mental health crisis, we are all capable of helping by being empathic and present.

“I’m still receiving support for my mental health now, and I think I always will.

"But I’m so grateful to Dave for stopping that day and being so patient and understanding.

"I’d have understood if he didn’t want to hear from me, but I just wanted to say ‘thank you’ for giving me the time and for treating me like I was human being."

Dave was equally relieved to hear from her as he'd "never had the opportunity" to get off the train and talk to someone in crisis before.

He told the BBC: "I needed to know she was all right. I’d contacted police to try to find out what happened to her and just wanted to make sure she was safe.

"I felt like I’d had a duty to make sure she was all right. We’d had that rapport built by the side of the track. It was just nice to be able to make that difference to somebody."