Woman finds love with prisoner through pen pal program

By Ben Barry

A woman plans to marry an American convicted criminal after striking up a relationship through a prison pen pal scheme.

Lucy Patterson, 42, was studying for a degree in forensic psychology when she decided to reach out to prisoners - for 'half research, half being nosy'.

She stumbled across a profile for Sean Hetzer, 26, on a prison pen pal website and sent him a letter.

Sean, then 18, was serving a 10-year sentence at a maximum security prison after pleading guilty to aggravated assault with a deadly weapon at Bexar County District Courts, San Antonio, Texas, US, in February 2014.

Sean wrote back and the pair sent letters to one another before speaking on the phone every day for the last two years.

Lucy didn't expect to fall in love but says she's now head-over-heels after their friendship blossomed into romance when Sean wrote 'I love you' in Spanish in one of his letters.

After a year of dating, the pair met in person for the first time in February 2019 - on Sean's 21st birthday - in the visitor room at the jail and spent four hours talking "non-stop".

Sean was released from prison on August 22, 2024, and is now working in construction in San Antonio, Texas, US - flying back and forth from the UK with Lucy.

But the lovebirds vow to keep their relationship alive and split their time between the UK and the US - and hope to tie the knot in the future.

Lucy, who works in HR, from Colchester, Essex, said: "I was on a website where you find prisoner pen pals.

"I have done a degree in forensic psychology and I wanted to speak to people in prison - it started off as half research and half being nosy.

"I sent off three letters offering support and I got a reply from Sean.

"Our relationship happened naturally, the tone of our letters changed.

"Sean wrote a letter and said 'go translate this' and it said love you in Spanish - from there we were official.

"I see a future with him, he is my best friend and we hope to get married one day."

In February 2014, Sean was sent to the Texas Department of Criminal Justice William G. McConnell Unit after pleading guilty to aggravated assault with a deadly weapon.

Due to the nature of his crime, he was placed in a maximum security prison and in September 2017 he received a surprise letter in the post from stranger Lucy.

Sean said: "I was really happy.

"She said she was reaching out to people who were on the website.

"Lucy said that she liked my picture and profile so she decided to write to me."

The pair continued to write to each other - occasionally having a phone call every 90 days when Sean was well-behaved enough for the privilege.

Lucy says the first phone call was "awkward" but the pair continued to communicate.

She said: "If he was well-behaved he could have a five-minute phone call every 90 days.

"We had our first phone call in 2018, again, because of his security level there were people listening in and standing with him.

"We were both very nervous and talking over each other - it was very awkward."

After the first call, the pair made their relationship official in May 2018.

Despite being in a relationship, the pair were not able to meet until Lucy made the 5,000-mile journey from her home in Essex to San Antonio, Texas.

Lucy said: "That was the scariest thing I had ever done in my life.

"Every fiber in my being was telling me to get back on the plane and go home.

"It was nerve-wracking and we had this big glass screen in front of us - the visit was four hours long."

Lucy said that the 16 year age gap was a worry for the couple initially because Sean wanted children and Lucy wasn't sure if she would be able to have them.

This led the couple to break up for two months in 2020.

Lucy said: "It has been a worry for us the whole time.

"On my part, I didn't want to hold him back from anything in life - especially with him being a young man in his 20s.

"His concern was children as I am older, it has been a worry for us throughout the whole relationship.

"We broke up for a little while because he was sure he wanted children and I wasn't sure if I could give him kids."

At first, Lucy only told her friends about the relationship, before opening up to some family members.

Her closest family didn't know until Sean was already out of prison and in the UK visiting.

Lucy said: "They knew of his existence and how I was writing to him but I didn't tell anyone it was a relationship for at least five years.

"When I did tell people, it was only a couple of my closest friends.

"Last year I told some of my family but it wasn't until Sean was in the UK that I told my mum - she has taken him in like one of her own.

"I convinced myself that everyone was going to judge me and everyone was going to be stuck up.

"I know my family are lovely non-judgmental people but when it comes to a situation like this they might go to a default response."

In October 2022, Sean was released from solitary confinement and the pair would talk "every day".

Lucy said Sean's behavior in prison didn't bother her because she knew he had to defend himself from time to time.

She said: "We were able to speak more after Sean was released from solitary for his behavior - we would talk every day.

"His bad behavior worried me at first but when you write to someone for so long you are able to understand their situation on a much deeper level.

"Sometimes he had to defend himself, it sounds dramatic but you can either defend yourself or be dead.

"We had an agreement that he can do what he needs to do but keep me out of it."

On August 22, 2024, Sean was released from prison after completing his sentence and Lucy flew out to meet him.

Lucy said: "I flew over to get him, it was a bit awkward at first.

"We didn't know if we were going to full-blown snog or peck - it was a bit of a chameleon kiss.

"It felt very natural to be with him - this is my best friend."

Sean added: "It is the best feeling ever - I was so relieved to be out.

"It was an exciting day - Lucy is caring and loyal.

"She was there when I needed someone when nobody else was there for me."

Lucy and Sean are planning to split their time between the UK and US on holiday visas.

The pair say they would love to tie the knot but they are in "no rush".

Lucy said: "I can't work in the US and he can't work here.

"We will always go back and forth, there is no plan to stay in any country.

"We don't have children, I own my property - we have no ties to keep us in one place."