How swinging saved this couple’s relationship

By Emma Dunn

A couple who say swinging saved their relationship now helps other couples get their spark back - despite trolls telling them they are breaking people up.

Jem Jones, 44, and her partner, Daz, 41, started exploring "ethical non-monogamy" five years into the relationship - as they had always been interested in it.

The pair loved opening up their relationship so they could both sleep with other couples - but stopped swinging after the pressures of building a business together took over.

But, after realizing their relationship was struggling, they got back into swinging - and feel it saved their relationship.

Now they "give back" and help other couples in the bedroom - giving them guidance on the swinging community if it's something they feel open to.

Despite trolls saying swinging is "cheating" and they are "splitting marriages up", Jem and Daz love the lifestyle and hope to continue to change perceptions.

Jem, a content creator, from Bournemouth, Dorset, said: "Swinging really saved us - mentally and getting that connection back.

"People class it as cheating and say we are 'splitting marriages up'.

"People are angry about something they don't understand.

"We're having the best time in our 40s."

Jem and Daz met on Tinder in June 2015 and hit it off straight away.

Jem said: "I had just come out of a marriage and went on for a bit of fun.

"I wasn't expecting to find someone I had a strong connection with."

The pair have always been adventurous in the bedroom.

Jem said: "I had my first threesome when I was 16.

"Daz has always been fun in the bedroom.

"We've always talked about having an open relationship.

"But we were exclusive to each other for the first five years."

Jem decided to bring up the idea of an open relationship after they'd been together for five years.

Daz said: "I'd never had an open relationship previously.

"We'd both had monogamous relationships that hadn't worked out."

After agreeing to dip their toe into that realm, Jem took Daz to a swinging event for his Christmas present.

Jem said: "It was this lovely mansion and exclusive party. It has a sex dungeon and swimming pool.

"It was a shock but it opened our eyes to this whole new world.

"We had a kiss with another couple and it really turned us on. We couldn't keep our hands off each other for two weeks.

"We had a really strong relationship - it was exciting and fun thing to explore.

"We entered it very slowly."

For the next few years Jem and Daz slowly started exploring more of the swinging community - eventually doing full swaps with other couples.

Daz admits he did deal with jealousy to start with - but was always open with Jem about it.

He said: "There were feelings of jealousy we had to confront after our first experience with another couple.

"I was quite confrontational with Jem - I said 'I'm not enjoying this and you're enjoying it too much'.

"But I realized as a guy I'm thinking about what other people would think.

"These feelings of jealousy will always be there - but they don't control me.

"It doesn't effect our relationship."

But when they started up a contracting business together in 2021 - swinging took a back seat.

Jem said: "It put a massive strain on our relationship.

"The business took over our lives."

But in 2023 Jem realised their relationship was struggling and spoke to Daz about getting back into swinging.

She said: "I said 'we used to have fun together', 'we used to go these sex parties'.

"Let's go back to enjoying life and each other."

They decided to go to a club event to get back into the "sexy environment" and make friends.

Now the couple make sure to make time to enjoy each other and the swinging community.

They mix it up with full swaps, parties and events as well as having an "authentic" Only Fans account.

Jem said: "We are not just going out looking for sex with people.

"We go on dates with a couple, and go away for weekends with swinging friends.

"We want to tell people - this works for us and it could work for you too."

The couple now often get others coming to them for advice.

Jem, who is also an accredited coach, said: "You don't have to go down the swinging route.

"We're speaking to couples and helping them reconnect - helping them in the bedroom to talk about their fantasies."

Daz said: "There are a lot of couples around our age where that early relationship energy has gone - through career, family or something else.

"People start looking elsewhere for excitement and desire.

"There is a whole lifestyle you can explore as a couple.

"It keeps people together. It keeps the excitement.

"The alternative is to go and cheat - physically or mentally.

"So many relationships breaking down could have been saved."

Jem and Daz hope to encourage couples to talk to each other about their sexual desires.

Daz said: "This is a journey to be explored - everyone has their own levels.

"You don't have to do anything you don't want to."

Jem said: "The key is to keep talking about it."