Why millennials value good sex over most things in relationships

Good sex matters more for millennials (86%) than having similar hobbies (72%) or taste in TV (60%), according to new research.

An exclusive survey conducted for Newsweek by Talker Research explored respondents’ sex lives and their satisfaction with intimacy.

The survey, conducted between Feb. 12 and Feb. 14, 2025, sampled 1,000 Americans and showed that of all the qualities asked about, more millennials selected that the quality of sex was “very important” than any other factor.

Qualities that weren’t as highly important among the group aged 29-44 include having similar lifestyles (39%) or political views (24%).

Emma Hewitt, a certified sex educator, provided insight on the generational shift in attitudes toward sexual satisfaction and communication in relationships.

"Millennials rating good sex higher than anything else is likely because they are done with having average or just OK sex," Hewitt told Newsweek. "Millennials grew up with some pretty questionable messaging about sex, a lot of which focused on how to please and pleasure your partner but never how to ensure that you were also receiving the kind of pleasure that you need."

Where has this emphasis on sex stemmed from? Hewitt pointed to the increased availability of sex education resources as a possible driver of the shift.

"With the rise of sex workshops, sex coaching and social media, we know that many millennials are focusing more on their own pleasure, consent and good communication about sex," she said. "They know what they want sexually, and they are not going to settle for less."

While important, Hewitt cautioned against relying on the idea of “good sex” as the only determinant of a healthy relationship.

"I do not think we should focus solely on good sex in a relationship, or depend on it for the positive effects to seep into the rest of the relationship, but I can understand why a lot of millennials are rating it so highly," she said.

She elaborated on how effective communication also plays a large role in achieving sexual satisfaction.

"Good sex is often the result of great communication," she said. "If you can talk openly and effectively about sex, you should be able to do the same about other elements of your relationship."

Hewitt spoke on how the emphasis on good sex not only fosters the opportunity for better communication but also signals a deeper investment in relationship quality.

"I also think that we should not underestimate the trickledown effects that good sex often has on a relationship," she said. "A good, partnered sex life usually results in mutual respect, increased intimacy, more connection and more fun, play and pleasure in all aspects of the relationship."

Survey methodology:

Talker Research surveyed 1,000 general population Americans; the survey was commissioned by Newsweek and administered and conducted online by Talker Research between Feb. 12 and Feb. 14, 2025.

We are sourcing from a non-probability frame and the two main sources we use are:

• Traditional online access panels — where respondents opt-in to take part in online market research for an incentive
• Programmatic — where respondents are online and are given the option to take part in a survey to receive a virtual incentive usually related to the online activity they are engaging in

Those who did not fit the specified sample were terminated from the survey. As the survey is fielded, dynamic online sampling is used, adjusting targeting to achieve the quotas specified as part of the sampling plan.

Regardless of which sources a respondent came from, they were directed to an Online Survey, where the survey was conducted in English; a link to the questionnaire can be shared upon request. Respondents were awarded points for completing the survey. These points have a small cash-equivalent monetary value.

Cells are only reported on for analysis if they have a minimum of 80 respondents, and statistical significance is calculated at the 95% level. Data is not weighted, but quotas and other parameters are put in place to reach the desired sample.

Interviews are excluded from the final analysis if they failed quality-checking measures. This includes:

• Speeders: Respondents who complete the survey in a time that is quicker than one-third of the median length of interview are disqualified as speeders
• Open ends: All verbatim responses (full open-ended questions as well as other please specify options) are checked for inappropriate or irrelevant text
• Bots: Captcha is enabled on surveys, which allows the research team to identify and disqualify bots
• Duplicates: Survey software has “deduping” based on digital fingerprinting, which ensures nobody is allowed to take the survey more than once

It is worth noting that this survey was only available to individuals with internet access, and the results may not be generalizable to those without internet access.