Woman adopts sister’s kids after tragedy: ‘Hope she’s proud’

By Lily Shanagher

A woman who adopted her sister's children after losing her to a sudden cardiac arrest says she hopes she would be proud of her.

Gemma Prosser, 40, adopted her nieces, Rubie, 17, and Izzy, 12, after her sister Ceriann, 35, passed away nine years ago.

She had to juggle raising her son Iestyn, 19, and the girls and says adapting to a larger household took time but got easier as the children aged.

Gemma, a factory worker, from Cwmfelinfach, Newport, Wales, said: “At first it was strange. I’d gone from feeding one child to three, but it was just easy enough to add a couple extra bits and bobs.

“I cook separate meals for myself and children sometimes have the same thing depending on what schedule I have.

“I can only try my best and I have tried my best.

“But I would like to think Ceriann would be looking down and thinking how proud she is and that I’ve done a really good job.”

Gemma and Ceriann has always promised to look after each other's children if anything happened to them.

She said: “We had always said when we first had the children that if anything was to happen to us we would take the children on either way but you don’t actually expect it to happen.

“I had seen her Sunday and Monday was my birthday and the phone started ringing while I was doing the washing up.

“I thought she just wanted to come over for a bacon butty like she always does but my phone rang again and it was my friend.

“I thought: ‘What is the urgency?’ and they said: ‘You need to come. We cannot wake Ceriann.'

“As soon as I heard that, I ran out of the house in my pajamas and drove to the street where she lived.

“I ran into the house and there were people and paramedics there.”

Gemma described the scene as “unbelievable”. She said: “They were saying stuff but it wasn’t sinking in.

“I was like: ‘No, I’ve got to see her, let me go up.’

“Seeing her was just a total shock. I cannot even describe it. It was like an out-of-body experience.

“Everything was whirring around and just wasn't sinking in.”

When she came to terms with the fact her sister was dead, Gemma said she felt “awful”.

Then reality kicked in and she had to figure out how to tell her other family members.

She said: “Pretty much straight away nothing was about me; everything was about the kids. I had to make sure the girls were alright and that Lestyn was alright.

“I was going from one to three and trying to have quality time with everyone.”

Losing her sister was “a shock” but Gemma says she didn’t have time to mourn as she had to care for the children.

She said: “A lot of people say I didn't grieve. I suppose everybody grieves in their own way.

“I didn't have much chance as I had to get on with it for the kids. Sometimes it is hard - as they get older and insist I have favorites.

“I treat them all exactly the same, but they will say: ‘You let Iestyn get away with anything” - no I don't - or 'Iestyn was allowed to go out later' - he is more streetwise.

“When Ceriann first passed away we went to the park and released balloons and Chinese lanterns and we have a picture of her on the stairs.

“My older niece has a picture of her in her bedroom and I need to find one for Izzy as now she is getting older, she wants a picture in her room as well.

“We speak about her quite openly. We never try to hide away from the fact that she’s no longer here.

“I tell them: ‘You would never speak to your mother like this’ - because she wouldn’t have it.

“If I have friends over we will talk about: ‘Remember when Ceriann did this?’ - she’s always in the conversation somewhere along the lines.”

One of the biggest problems Gemma had to get used to was having the girls with her at all times.

Her son was able to spend time with his father but, she said, “wherever I went or whatever I did, I had to work it around the kids or have them with me".

The children were always “like siblings” growing up because Gemma and her late sister were so close and they adapted well to living together, aside from “bickering among themselves”.

Gemma added: “Rubie and Iestyn are learning to drive and are sharing tips and things and confiding in each other.

“It’s not easy but you’ve got to roll with the punches and keep at it - it does get easier as the children grow up and get older.”