Why men struggle to be honest with their partner about money

Half of men have kept financial secrets from a spouse or a partner, according to new research.

In a survey of 2,000 men, 49% of those who are married or in a committed relationship (60% of respondents) shared that they have kept money-related secrets.

The most common secret proved to be a hidden savings account (14%). Other men have kept their spending habits (13%) and a credit card or a line of credit (12%) to themselves.

Among the men who kept secrets from their significant other, many said they did so because they were embarrassed (27%) or ashamed (26%), while one in five (19%) said they simply “didn’t know how to bring it up.”

Some of this secrecy appears to be a result from pressure to be financially successful — something 48% of men surveyed admitted to feeling. Of these men, 56% said the pressure comes from themselves, but 27% said they felt a societal pressure for men to be financially successful.

Conducted by Talker Research and commissioned by Beyond Finance for Men’s Mental Health Month, the survey examined the connection between money and mental health, and the results reveal a strong correlation.

Respondents were asked to rate both their mental and financial health on a one-to-five scale, which revealed a strong connection between low financial health and low mental health.

Men who rated their financial health at a 1 (poor) also had the lowest mental health (2.8 on average). Conversely, those with the highest financial health — a 5 (excellent) — also had the highest mental health (4.6 on average).

Despite this, a fifth of respondents said they would not be confident confiding in anyone about their financial situation.

The numbers of those willing to share their financial situation still show a general hesitance of men to open up: Less than half said they’d speak to their partner (41%), a quarter to a financial professional (23%), a fifth to their friends (19%) and roughly a tenth to their parents (12% to their mom and 11% to their dad).

“This survey confirms what we’ve long suspected — men are suffering in silence when it comes to money,” said Lou Antonelli, chief operating officer at Beyond Finance. “Financial anxiety is isolating, and many men don’t feel safe opening up. This is why we’re encouraging men to stop gambling with their wellbeing and start building both financial and emotional resilience.”

Forty percent of men said their financial situation has made them feel disconnected from friends, and this was especially true for those who rated themselves with poor financial health. Among this group, 69% feel disconnected, compared to 27% who rated their financial health as “good.”Overall, 37% of men avoid friendships that make them feel financially insecure.

“This research points to a broader cultural issue: Men are emotionally overwhelmed by money, yet afraid to seek help. Shame, secrecy and silence are driving real harm, not only to personal finances, but to relationships, careers and mental health,” said Nathan Astle, a certified financial therapist at Beyond Finance. 

“This isn’t about being perfect,” added Astle. “It’s about giving men permission to be honest about where they’re at — and then helping them build a healthier, more hopeful path forward.”

Survey methodology:

Talker Research surveyed 2,000 American men; the survey was commissioned by Beyond Finance and administered and conducted online by Talker Research between May 20 and May 27, 2025.

We are sourcing from a non-probability frame and the two main sources we use are:

• Traditional online access panels — where respondents opt-in to take part in online market research for an incentive
• Programmatic — where respondents are online and are given the option to take part in a survey to receive a virtual incentive usually related to the online activity they are engaging in

Those who did not fit the specified sample were terminated from the survey. As the survey is fielded, dynamic online sampling is used, adjusting targeting to achieve the quotas specified as part of the sampling plan.

Regardless of which sources a respondent came from, they were directed to an Online Survey, where the survey was conducted in English; a link to the questionnaire can be shared upon request. Respondents were awarded points for completing the survey. These points have a small cash-equivalent monetary value.

Cells are only reported on for analysis if they have a minimum of 80 respondents, and statistical significance is calculated at the 95% level. Data is not weighted, but quotas and other parameters are put in place to reach the desired sample.

Interviews are excluded from the final analysis if they failed quality-checking measures. This includes:

• Speeders: Respondents who complete the survey in a time that is quicker than one-third of the median length of interview are disqualified as speeders
• Open ends: All verbatim responses (full open-ended questions as well as other please specify options) are checked for inappropriate or irrelevant text
• Bots: Captcha is enabled on surveys, which allows the research team to identify and disqualify bots
• Duplicates: Survey software has “deduping” based on digital fingerprinting, which ensures nobody is allowed to take the survey more than once

It is worth noting that this survey was only available to individuals with internet access, and the results may not be generalizable to those without internet access.