How visiting family during the holidays affects our health

By Stephen Beech

Going home for Christmas can have a "profound" impact on diets, warns new research.

Visiting family over the festive season can even change the way we think about food, say scientists.

Previous studies have shown that families and upbringing have a huge influence on how people eat and their relationship with food.

Those influences are so dramatic that they can lead to some people dreading visiting family - particularly parents - over Christmas, according to a leading UK expert on eating.

Professor Jane Ogden's study of the psychology of eating examines the impact of family dynamics on dining behaviour.

Her new book, "How to Eat Well at Every Age", highlights how the family people grew up with can shape their attitudes toward food for life.

She says moms and dads, in particular, play a "pivotal" role in teaching children what, when, and how to eat.

Ogden, from the University of Surrey, said: “Children of all ages learn what and how much to eat from their parents.

“Up until the age of about 12, parents are their key role models.

"After this age, even if it starts to feel that their friends are more important and that we are losing our grip, secretly, they still watch what their parents do.”

She said parental influence extends beyond food choices to attitudes about body image and exercise.

Parents who model healthy eating and active lifestyles can set their children up for lifelong habits.

Ogden says eating socially has also been shown to have a huge psychological impact.

She suggests, for the most part, food can bring people together, improve well-being, and create lasting memories.

Ogden emphasizes the benefits of eating together, suggesting food can encourage social interaction and improve mood:

She said: “Food can also help with well-being as it offers a source of pleasure, structure, and a useful excuse for spending time with friends and family.”

But Ogden says it can become more complex when inherited attitudes regarding food are less than positive, or when a big family gathering means confronting "challenging" attitudes.

She said: "For example, food can help regulate emotions like boredom, anxiety, or loneliness, which can be particularly difficult for someone who has worked hard to improve their relationship with eating."

Ogden says another challenge people may face during festive gatherings is the labelling of foods or eating habits as “good” or “bad” - a language often passed down by older generations.

She says such language can lead to guilt, shame, and rebound effects, where people overeat the very foods they were trying to avoid.

Instead, Ogden promotes a balanced approach, gently reframing foods as “frequent” compared to “occasional” and focusing on moderation rather than restriction.

She said: “Try to talk about food in a way that reinforces eating when you are hungry and stopping when you are full, and does not make body size an issue.” the expert advises.

Despite possible comments or advice from relatives, Ogden warns that strict food restrictions can "backfire" - leading to cravings, overeating, and feelings of guilt.

She encourages people to focus on what to eat more of - such as fruit, vegetables, and home-cooked meals - rather than what to avoid.

Ogden said: "This positive approach can help build a sustainable, balanced relationship with food."

For those worried about overindulging during the holidays, she suggests self-compassion.

Ogden said: “Food can be about socialising and interaction, not just about calories and nutrition.

“Aim high to eat well, but then being kind to yourself when standards slip, and you eat ‘good enough."

She explained that by avoiding feelings of failure, self-compassion can encourage a healthier, more sustainable approach to eating.

Ogden also warned against using food as a reward as it can teach children to associate unhealthy foods with pleasure.

She encouraged parents to reward healthy eating with praise and smiles, fostering a preference for nutritious foods.

In the book, she also advises moms and dads to “eat healthy foods, do not snack, do not overeat, undereat and be seen to try new foods and enjoy them.”

For those looking after an elderly relative who still lives independently but eats less, Ogden said: “We are an ageing population and this becomes a problem for many people as they see their parents get thinner and not eat properly.

“Christmas can be the time to make sure they actually eat a homecooked meal.”