Is the secret to a happy marriage a shared bedtime?

(Photo by Vitaly Gariev on Unsplash)

Is having the same bedtime the secret to a happy marriage?

A new survey of 2,000 married Americans looked at the “bedtime gap” — the amount of time between one partner going to bed and the other following, and the impact this has on respondents’ relationships.

The research revealed that this gap is quite common in relationships, as couples only go to their shared bed together three nights during an average week.

Commissioned by Avocado Green Mattress and conducted by Talker Research, the data revealed the average couple surveyed experiences an 80-minute “bedtime gap” multiple times per week.

But couples with fewer “bedtime gaps” tend to be happier with their spouse, as there was a correlation found between those who go to their shared bed at the same time and those who said they were “very happy” in their marriage.

“Very happy” couples go to bed together about four times per week, versus about once a week for less-than-happy couples.

A similar correlation was revealed with couples who have the same general sleep patterns.

Those who were both night owls or both early birds were more likely to say they’re “very happy” in their marriage, compared to couples with one early bird and one night owl (71% and 78%, respectively, vs. 59%).

Why might this be? The survey revealed that 58% of respondents feel closer to their spouse when going to bed at the same time. And a similar number (59%) believe this is also important in increasing intimacy.

(Talker Research)

“Should night owls only marry other night owls, and should early birds only marry other early birds? No,” said Laura Scott, director of brand marketing at Avocado Green Mattress. “There are plenty of ways to make a relationship work when you have different needs and varying sleep schedules, something so many couples are familiar with.

“But these results do show the importance of connection, and how bedtime can be a meaningful time for couples — whether that’s a chance to talk and debrief about the day or have some alone time for intimacy. It can be so lovely to share a bed with your spouse after a long day, and many respondents said they actually sleep better when going to sleep at the same time as their partner.”

Four in 10 respondents (43%) sleep better when coordinating bedtimes, compared to just 16% who said their sleep improves when they and their spouse go to bed at different times.

But this also varied by age, with younger respondents finding it more important to lessen the “bedtime gap” and go to sleep at the same time.

Sixty-two percent of millennials surveyed sleep better when going to bed at the same time as their spouse, compared to just 27% of baby boomers.

And while many respondents feel closer to their spouse when going to bed at the same time, this was also much higher for millennials (at 76%, compared to just 41% for baby boomers) — despite only a small difference in their overall happiness in their marriage.

“What you need to have a good night’s rest can change as you age — just as your relationship can evolve over time,” said Scott. “Older Americans might be more settled into their marriages, and therefore be prioritizing sleep in a different way. What’s most important is that everyone is getting the rest they need, knowing the impact sleep can have on our overall health and wellness.”

(Photo by Kampus Production via Pexels)

Research methodology:

Talker Research surveyed 2,000 married Americans (who live with their spouse) who have access to the internet; the survey was commissioned by Avocado Green Mattress and administered and conducted online by Talker Research between Feb. 2–5, 2026. A link to the questionnaire can be found here.

To view the complete methodology as part of AAPOR’s Transparency Initiative, please visit the Talker Research Process and Methodology page.