Woman celibate in her 20s after growing tired of hookup culture

By Olivia Stringer

A woman became celibate at age 21 after becoming sick of the "temporary validation" hookups gave her.

Jasmine Gonzalez, 24, decided to become celibate two and a half years ago, after growing tired of men sleeping with her, and then casting her aside.

The content creator and snowboarder, from Las Vegas, Nevada, realized that if a man truly wanted to be with her, he wouldn't try and kiss her straight away, and would wait until he knew her properly, before initiating intimacy.

She will now only sleep with someone if she is in a committed relationship with them, and said that although at times she has found her celibacy journey hard, it has helped her to realize whether she actually likes someone, rather than just lusting over them.

The likes of Maura Higgins and Tulisa have recently spoken out about their decision to be celibate with the former X Factor judge saying the thought of sleeping with someone makes her feel "physically sick."

Jasmine said: "When I was younger, I didn't know love without touch. I thought that if a boy liked me, and kissed me, I would become his girlfriend, but time and time again, that didn't happen.

"I wanted to be wanted, and craved temporary validation.

"As I got older, I realized that good guys are the ones that don't just want to hook up, and want to commit before doing anything sexual.

"If they don't try and kiss me before the third date, I now know that they have good intentions.

"I now won't sleep with anyone unless I am in a relationship with them, and I haven't dated anyone for two and a half years, so in that time I have been celibate.

"It can be hard sometimes, but I have to remember why I'm doing it.

"It helps me to realize what people want from me.

"Sometimes you can get wrapped up in the sexual tension, but if you take that away, you realize you have nothing in common with this person.

"When I tell men I'm celibate, I think it makes them respect me more.

"I think more women are choosing to be celibate nowadays because we're tired of the games.

"We no longer want temporary validation and random hookups."

When Jasmine was a teenager, she believed that if a boy showed interest, and kissed her she would become his girlfriend, but she grew increasingly frustrated when time and time again, this didn't happen, and she was tossed aside.

"You would think I would have learned from it," she said.

Then, when she was 20, Jasmine met a boy who told her that he didn't want to be physically intimate with her, until she committed to him.

"I thought it was so abnormal that a boy wouldn't want to do anything sexual with me without me being his girlfriend," she said.

The pair ended up dating for a year and a half, and after they broke up, Jasmine decided she was only going to date men with similar values to him, who did not want to be intimate with her until they had decided to commit.

She now won't sleep with anyone unless they are in a relationship, and since she hasn't dated anyone in two and a half years, and has been celibate for that period.

She added that she does not even go on dates, as she wants to get to know someone deeply as a friend first, before dating them.

"I have to know their mind and soul before I become physically attracted to them," she said.

"I want to be friends with somebody and learn who they are as a person, how they carry themselves, how they talk to a waiter, then once I know them inside and out, it can lead to something else."

Although Jasmine said that it can sometimes be hard not to give in to temptation, celibacy helps her to have a clear head and make a decision on whether she likes someone for their personality, rather than just their looks.

Jasmine is very open about her celibacy, and said that when she tells men about it, they are usually very respectful.

She added that being celibate takes away the "mind games" that often come with dating.

She said: "When I was younger, and I would date people, I would constantly be thinking 'did I respond too fast?', 'Did I kiss him too quickly?', 'did I say the wrong thing?'

"Being celibate takes the pressure off, because I know nothing will happen until I'm really committed."

Jasmine said that the kind of man who will make her break her celibacy will be respectful, kind, has a great career, loves his family, and has his life together.

"I want someone that everyone loves being around, I want to be proud of who I'm with," she said.