Married couple who wed as man and wife renewing vows as two women

By Lydia Patrick via SWNS

A married couple who wed as man and wife plan to renew their vows as two women - with the bride insisting "It's the person I fell in love with - not the body."

Jae Harvey, 32, met her partner Rayna, 35, on Myspace in 2009 but after two years in a long-distance relationship, the couple broke up.

The couple rekindled their romance and got married - as man and woman - in Jae's hometown - Dallas, Texas, US, in March 2018.

However, Rayna was struggling with her identity and confided in Jae on their honeymoon - who vowed to stick by her.

During the week-long break, Rayna went out in public as a woman for the first time and when the waiter greeted her as a woman, she "instantly knew who she was".

Rayna started transitioning after coming out in a Facebook post.

She has since had several surgeries totalling £70k and completed her transition in 2022.

The pair hope to tie the knot as wife and wife.

Rayna has to get a gender recognition certificate - a government authorization of her gender - and she's hesitant about proving herself yet again to the world, she said.

Rayna, a graphic designer, from Somerset, UK said: "I can't wait to walk down the aisle in a dress.

"Our first wedding was still really cool, we got really drunk and ate lots of cake.

"I didn't think about it on that day, but I've struggled with my identity since I was 11 years old.

"To marry as a woman, I have to be psychoanalyzed by two independent psychiatrists to prove I've been living as myself for two years.

"After what I've been through, I feel very excluded and like I don't matter."

Jae, a photographer, originally from Dallas, Texas, US, said: "We want to have a black and white wedding and wear black dresses to symbolize death and rebirth.

"We got married in my mum's backyard the first time round and it was a very small wedding.

"Unfortunately, Rayna's family couldn't be there because her grandfather had passed away the week before."

The couple first met on social media in 2008 and started talking non-stop in 2010.

Rayna flew over to visit Jae in America in August 2010, but they couldn't make their relationship go the distance and split at the end of 2011.

After later discovering Rayna had split from her partner of five years, Jae reached out to her on Facebook in the summer of 2017.

Jae added: "I came over to visit Rayna in October 2017 and it was like seven years hadn't passed.

"Rayna proposed to me as I was about to board my flight at Bristol Airport sat in Costa.

"She made a cheeky comment about me staying and I said you'd have to propose to me - so she did.

"I went home on cloud nine."

The pair got married in March 2018 in an intimate ceremony in Jae's mum's garden.

The newlyweds then returned to the UK so Jae could start her visa application process.

A couple of months after the wedding Rayna confided in Jae that she was having some thoughts and feelings she didn't understand.

They discussed it during their honeymoon at Centre Parks, Longleat, Warminster, Wiltshire, in June 2018.

Jae said: "I told her I was glad she told me and not to feel like she had to live in the dark and inauthentically.

"We tried androgyny and cross-dressing.

"I thought her best opportunity to go out presenting as female would be our honeymoon because we wouldn't know anyone.

"I bought make-up and hair stuff and let her borrow one of my purses and we went to dinner at Bella Italia.

"The server said 'good evening, ladies' and I could see it all over her face."

The newlyweds then returned to their cabin and had an open discussion.

Jae added: "I asked whatever I needed to ask and what it meant for us and what the transition would look like.

"It's the person I fell in love with - not the body."

Jae then taught Rayna how to do hair and make-up and became her number one supporter.

Rayna started hormone replacement therapy in August 2018 whilst Jae went home to apply for her visa.

In December 2018, she came out publicly on Facebook and everyone supported her with open arms.

"We were met with total support by everyone, even Rayna's 95-year-old grandma is on board and gives her granddaughter cards," Jae said.

Rayna added: "I feel like me now.

"Life is a lot easier now I can go about my daily basis without worrying.

"I've struggled since I was 11 years old, but I didn't know what being trans was.

"I had predominantly female friends at school, and I loved dressing up and being someone else for Halloween."

Rayna started the lengthy transitioning period with hormone therapy in 2018, followed by an orchiectomy - a procedure to remove the testicles in May 2019.

She also had a breast augmentation, facial surgery and finally, full penis removal in February 2022- her surgery totaled £70k which her parents helped her out with.

She has her final bottom surgery at Spire Yale, Wrexham - as she remained on the NHS waiting list after an initial appointment five years ago.

The final procedure nearly killed her as she lost so much blood.

Jae added: "It was a total freak accident which is something that can happen in this surgery.

"The doctor described it as 'blood bath'. It is meant to take three-and-a-half hours, but it got to seven hours, and she was still in there.

"She couldn't bear to have a transfusion but took iron tablets - everyone calls her a machine because she's never taken any painkillers after surgery."

To marry as a female, Rayna requires a gender recognition certification from the government - it is a certificate to recognize her as a woman - despite having changed her name, drivers license and passport.

She doesn't want to have to jump through endless hoops to prove her womanhood and the couple refuses to marry until Rayna can tie the knot as her true self.

Jae said: "It doesn't matter how long you've been transitioning or what you've done.

"The government have made it so difficult - there are so many hoops to jump through."

Rayna added: "I get there needs to be a process to verify who I am, but a lot of people struggle to get gender recognition certificates.

"It's a soul-destroying process after having been through so much.

"Jae and I can't move forward whilst it's a thing.

"We want to be visible."