Gay single dad spends $125K to fulfill dream of having baby

By Emma Dunn via SWNS

A gay single dad spent $125k to have a baby by himself – after not wanting to wait for someone else to "fulfil" his "dream."

Matt Bonnen, 31, had always dreamed of being a dad and when his relationship of four years broke down he didn’t think it would be possible.

But after a cancer scare and losing his brother, Christopher, 31, in a drowning accident, Matt realized life was too short and he didn’t need to have a partner to become a parent.

He started to look into agencies to help with surrogacy and picked out an egg donor who had similar physical features to himself.

After one failed go, Matt found out his surrogate - a 30-year-old woman - was pregnant in February 2023 and he was able to attend to all the scans – in person or on FaceTime.

Matt witnessed the birth of his son, Noah Christopher, now three months old, on Oct. 14, 2023, and feels so “grateful” to have him.

He doesn’t regret doing it alone – and says it is the “best decision” he has ever made.

Matt, who owns a restoration company, and lives between Miami, Florida and New York, US, said: “All my life I had this idea of having a family.

“I played with Barbie and made them have kids.

“I always aspired to be a parent.

“I thought 'why can’t I do this by myself?’

“Why do you have to wait for someone else to fulfil your dream?

“I want to invest in my happiness.

“Noah was so wanted. I feel that is beautiful.

“It’s the best decision I have made.”

Matt had been planning a life with his ex-partner before their relationship broke down.

He said: “I wasn’t happy with my life anymore.

“I broke it off.”

He was unexpectedly diagnosed with astroblastoma - a rare brain tumor - in December 2018 but had an operation to have the mass removed the same month.

Matt also lost his brother, who was 31 at the time, in a freak drowning accident and it made him start to realise he could be a dad on his own.

He said: “Life is too short to be so unhappy.

“Three years later when I was ready – I knew I wanted to be a parent.

“I didn’t find another person but I thought ‘I think I can do this by myself’.”

Matt was financially stable, had bought his own apartment and decided he wanted to have a biological child and started contacting agencies in 2021.

He said: “I was missing that one thing.”

Matt had six months of psychological testing to make sure he was “fit to be a parent” before dropping off his sperm.

He then chose his egg donor – choosing someone who looked similar to him.

Matt said: “It’s like a catalog.

“I felt most comfortable with how my family looks.”

The agency then froze eight embryos and Matt picked a surrogate through the agency to carry his child.

Matt said: “The first one didn’t take.

“The second one she took a pregnancy test and said it was negative.

“I was devastated.

“She went to the doctors the next week and they said she was in fact pregnant.

“I was crying.”

Matt kept in touch with the surrogate throughout the pregnancy and was able to go to scans and see his son growing.

He said: “It was amazing.”

Matt saw Noah born naturally on October 14, 2023, in Miami, Florida at 1.30pm - weighing 6lbs 2oz.

He said: “It was a beautiful experience.

“As soon as he came out I saw myself in him.

“He looked like an angel. He was soft and glowing.”

Matt stayed in the hospital with Noah for two days before he came home – and has been looking after him ever since with the help of a nanny and his mum, Caroline, 55.

He still keeps in touch with the surrogate – sending her photos and FaceTiming her.

Matt said: “She gave me a gift that I could never have myself.

“I’m so grateful for that.

“She’ll always be a part of this.”

Matt says he did struggle with fatherhood at first and found himself crying a lot.

He said: “I believe men do get postpartum.

“People said ‘you’ll regret having him’ or ‘you’ll miss your old life’.

“But I am so grateful.

“He’s very soft spoken and very smiley.

“He has my eyes and my cheeks and the egg donor’s mouth and lips.

“I’m obsessed.”

Matt said a new partner would join their family – if he found the right person.

He said: “Whether a partner comes into my life now or later they’ll join the family.

“They’ll have to accept I am a father first.

“They can be an add on to the family.”