Burnout coach reveals how to overcome work-related stress

By Jake Meeus-Jones via SWNS

A burnout coach has revealed "you might be the problem" - suggesting zoning out and doom scrolling are signs of it.

Elissa Lynn, 33, became a burnout coach when she realized the root cause of her work-related stress was her own doing.

Burnout is a state of chronic overwhelm accumulated over time.

Elissa claims people telling her she was "so dependable" made her realize she was using their validation as her "fuel."

Her "24/7 work life" attitude compromised her health and well-being as she found she was always on her emails and felt she always had to be "on."

Elissa says even after a multi-vehicle collision in January 2016, her first thought was about work.

She suggests signs someone might be burnt out include chronic migraines, shoulder tension and a lack of sleep as well as zoning out and doom scrolling on social media.

She now works with other high-achieving professionals to tackle their own burnout problems by creating an identity outside of work and setting boundaries.

Elissa believes a common cause of burnout is ourselves - especially high-achievers and those "guilt ridden" at saying no and says simply quitting a job for a new one won't always help to alleviate problems.

She helps others commit to more activities outside of their work to improve time management - allowing them to "say no" to work thoughts outside of work hours.

Elissa also coaches people who over commit at work, fail to delegate and say yes to everything.

Elissa, from San Diego, Calif., said: "The number one thing you have to do is admit that you are the problem.

"If you have been over-committing and over-promising and quitting jobs to find yourself feeling the same way, then you need to admit your part.

"People don't like to hear that but I say that as a means to take ownership of your power.

"Because the one thing you can 100 percent control is you.

"When you change your mindset, you can change your life.

"You give yourself the opportunity to step into the driver's seat instead of living at the mercy of everything else you can't control.

"Also, when you focus on you, you learn how to operate differently, which directly correlates to doing your job more efficiently, thus, making your workload much more manageable."

Elissa's own burnout problems stemmed from feeling like she wasn't doing enough and that there was "always more to do."

She said: "I went to South America and thought I'd escape my job and I had this overwhelming thought that I was the problem.

"I had been selling myself out for the job and no one was forcing me to resent my work and snap at my partner.

"When I had that revelation, I realized I had no boundary. How can I learn to say no? How can I practice saying no?

"When I moved back two years later, I got into another high-level role and did my job with boundaries and working half the amount of time I did before and was still one of the best performers on the team."

Once people have identified they might be causing our own problems, Elissa believes learning what behaviors they become over-reliant on and creating boundaries can be "effective" in helping to overcome burnout.

She said: "Reflect on what behaviors you have become over-reliant on that have led to burnout.

"For example, 'I say yes too much, and this leads to a workload that's more than I can handle and no time for a life outside of work.'

"Try and set clear boundaries like ending your day at a set time each day, and to help with that commitment, try and schedule a workout class, for example, shortly after finishing work.

"Set clear limits. Once you've identified the problem and assessed your current boundaries, set clear limits on what you're willing and able to do."

Elissa also says people need to communicate their boundaries and stick to them, which can often be the "hardest part."

She said: "It's easy to set boundaries, the hard part is communicating them.

"Remember, most of the time people care much less than we think.

"It can be uncomfortable at first but gets much easier with time and practice.

"Plus, boundaries are assertive, not aggressive.

"You can be kind and professional when communicating your boundaries.

"Make sure you try and stick to your boundaries though.

"Setting boundaries is only effective when you stick to them.

"People don't respect you by what you say, they respect you by what you do."

Elissa also suggests rediscovering yourself outside of your job, which can help create a "new identity."

She said: "I created an identity outside of my job and committed myself to things outside of my job, so I had places to be and things to do.

"So, I forced myself to be somewhere else and fulfilled myself in a deeper way by realizing there's more to me than just my job.

"Some people have no identity outside of work, so we work on creating that identity."

Elissa recommends people seek support - saying it can be one of the "fastest ways to overcome burnout."

Elissa also has a few "don'ts" when it comes to dealing with burnout - including avoiding excessive lists of achievements on CVs.

She said: "Don't include an excessive list of achievements - this can suggest you are accustomed to overworking, aka not prioritizing self-care.

"Things like: 'My greatest strength is my follow up,' 'I'm always available,' 'I get the job done regardless of the cost' or 'I thrive in high pressure environments.'

"Instead, highlight your most relevant accomplishments that you obtained while maintaining a great work-life balance.

"If you know you are a part of the problem using band aid solutions like vacations, quitting the job, using food or alcohol to cope, won't help.

"You should not confide in people who are unsupportive or don't understand burnout as that can make it worse.

"You should not push harder - you'll only exacerbate the problem.

"Don't neglect your physical health because when our bodies break down on us, it's nearly impossible to do anything else.

"Don't isolate. When we are burnout, it's tempting to shut ourselves away from the world, but this can further deeper feelings of loneliness."

Elissa's tips for overcoming burnout:

• Admit your part in the problem
• Learn what behaviors need to change and set boundaries around them
• Communicate your boundaries
• Rediscover who you are outside of your job
• Seek support